Thursday, September 25, 2008

Never Say Never…

Never Say Never… when our oldest children were toddlers some 25 years ago. Oh man, I am old! Anyway, I remember being absolutely appalled by children who would bite. How could their mother’s allow such behavior? I would NEVER tolerate such behavior! Well, that’s all it took Grandma Tueller had warned me “never say never” but I had to learn for myself. Fast forward a few years - very few - seeing that child number 5 was born when child number 1 was still 6 anyway that is another post & she did turn 7 a month after baby 5 was born. I digress… as you may have guessed child 5 was a BITER! I had a dear friend who worked in the Primary with me & some years after our children had moved on from nursery she confessed to me that her daughter was terrified to go into nursery if my son was there. Mother & daughter would peek in the nursery & if “sharp tooth” was there Katie got to go with mom that day.

Those of you who know my child number 5 he is the sweetest, kindest person even as a child he was tender hearted. I just don’t think he realized how mean biting was. I feel that I should include here that I knew he was a biter but I wasn’t always aware of those he bit & I certainly seemed at a loss to help him stop. I had a brother-in-law who bit one of the other nieces or nephews – not even his child – to try to teach the child that biting hurts. Luckily for that brother-in-law he didn’t try that on my son. Not a teaching method I agreed with.

Anyway I want to say that I learned a few things from this experience. First, of course is “never say never”. Call it karma, what goes around comes around or anything you want but when you say to yourself I will “never whatever” it is as if the universe takes that as a personal challenge & says “oh we will see”. Second is that sometimes being oblivious is bliss. I would have been mortified if I had known that my son was the nursery bully. Somehow it wasn’t quite as bad finding out after the fact. Probably last is to try not to criticize someone else’s parenting. I think most of us are trying our best most of the time. Parenting is not for the faint of heart, but as a mother whose 7 babies are all now adults it is certainly worth it!

4 comments:

Becky A said...

I couldn't agree more! except my babies aren't adults yet. I think most parents are out there trying to do the best they can...As far as the biting thing goes, I don't think there is really anything that can be done about that. Just wait for them to outgrow it? Like LOTS of other things. That's my opinion. Don't judge me, y'all.

Amy Beatty said...

I love this post. It is so true. When ever I say I couldn't handle it if such in such were to happen it does or better yet its something even worse. You got to love life. You just never know whats around that corner. I have lost count years ago how often people like to tell me whats up with my parenting. And I only have the three kids. I guess thats what happens when your first born is so dang wild and in his own world. he has really paved a nice path for the other two to be so carefree and not listen to adults. It sounds awful, but sometimes I get a big kick that my kids are the ones swimming with the ducks while the other kids beg their moms if they can go in. You can just tell thats the last thing they are going to let their kids do. I'm not alone in this world though. You saw the kite post. The water there was roped off, and I was actually going to not let my kids get in, even though it was a nice sunny afternoon. But behold, Michelle's boys were in having a gay ole time. I figure if Dave was letting them in. He's like the guy in charge, that it was ok. I did feel bad for all the other kids who wanted to come play in the sand and water though.

Shell Bell said...

Mom - again I am so excited about your post. It will be something I always treasure.
Amy - thanks for letting everyone know about my boys trangression, including myself. That happened the day my Grandma passed away. I was very concerned about my boys hanging out at the kite festival unsupervised. I am grateful that you were around to help make sure they survived the day. By the way Dave has been teased (by people at work) more than once about the rules not applying to him. I guess the boys just assumed that included them too!

heather said...

I think that is kinda funny, I never knew that about Travis. Thankfully Landon has only bitten me and Trav, well at least that i know of! LOL!!